Part 263: The future of music
Eddie
Hello. I'm Professor Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards. For the last forty
years I have dedicated myself to painstaking research into the field
of music. I now know more about music than anyone else in the world,
even James Donohue. So you must listen to me as I do my History of
Music.
Announcer
Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards's History of Music, part 263: the future of
music.
FX
Weird 'futuristic' music
Eddie
As we enter the new millennium thoughts turn to the future. As mankind
solves the problems of earth and reaches out to explore and conquer
the mystery of space, what will he - and she - be listening to? Well,
science fiction once again provides us a... stupid... view. This is
how vintage 1980s bollocks sci-fi series Buck Rogers envisaged the
music of the future:
Music
Snippet of crap bar-scene music taken from Buck Rogers or something
like that, then back to beepy noises
Eddie
But we must also ask one of the all-important questions for humanity:
what if we are not alone? Will extraterrestrial life arrive to solve
all of mankind's social problems, destroy the witch-whore Celine Dion
and usher in an era of musical perfection and Abba tribute bands?
[patronising] Well, not if we believe science fiction! According to
modern bad sci-fi series such as Star Trek, aliens all listen to their
own weirdo forms of opera, which are almost as unlistenable and crap
as our own. Here, from Babylon 5, is a piece of Narn opera.
Music
Horrible Narn opera thing from 'The Geometry of Shadows'
Eddie
Having studied in great detail the musical trends of the last forty
years, I can now reveal that the space music of future people will
sound... [false modesty] something... like this.
Music
A ghastly drum 'n' bass version of Waterloo by Abba, with bad
spaceship noises on top.
Eddie
I've seen the future.
Announcer
Next week, in part 264 of Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards's History of
Music: the Professor sings a medley of Abba classics with backing
from Chas and Dave.