No adventures today
Narrator
It's the adventures of Captain Birdseye!
Captain
Ahoy there! I'm Captain Birdseye!
[pause]
Ahoy! Kids!
[pause]
Ahoy! Kids!
Billy
[ill] What?
Captain
Come and have an adventure. We've nearly reached the desert island
with the treasure and stuff, aar!
Katie
Not now Captain.
Billy
I don't feel very well.
Captain
Aar. Feeling a little seasick, me hearties?
Katie
I think it might have more to do with the semi-cooked fish fingers
you fed us last night.
Captain
Nonsense. My fish fingers are good for you, with up to 20% prime cod.
Billy
I thought they were 100% primed cod Captain!
Captain
No, there's not nearly enough fish in the North Sea to make that much
quality fish-based product. Overfishing, you see. Anyway, I've got to
catch all the fish the Birdseye company use. And I've only got a
little net.
Katie
So what else is in them then?
Captain
Well, me boy...
Katie
Girl. Girl. I'm not a boy.
Captain
You will be if you eat enough North Sea cod. Hormone pollution, you
see. No, we make up the bulk with genetically modified soya, potato
starch, horsemeat, chalk and hay, for that yummy crunchy taste,
mmmm!
Katie
[is sick]
Captain
Look, are you lot coming out for an adventure, or what?
Kids
<general groaning>
Narrator
More exciting adventures with Captain Birdseye next time. Maybe.
Captain
Aar. Sod you then.