Fizzy Fags
SFX
cigarette lighter striking twice. Cigarette being lit. Soft-drink-like fizzing sound. A child's
innocent giggle.
Little girl
Mummy, I'm happy!
v/o
Yes! Moms, make your children happy with new Fizzy Fags. It's the sparkling fun cigarette for
kids!
Little girl
[inhale]... ahhh....
v/o
It's the secret blend of high-tar tobacco and artificial colouring in Fizzy Fags' smooth
Sherbet Shag that kids just can't resist!
Little girl
I love you mummy! And your fizzy fags!!
v/o
Yes, moms, win your child's love with new Fizzy Fags! Or burn in the eternal furnace of Hades!
Your choice!
Jingle singers
It's another quality product!
From Question-a-ble Mer-chan-dise Li-mited!
From Question-a-ble Mer-chan-dise Li-mited!
Fun Sponge
SFX
liquid splash and bubble
Little girl
Mummy, why is there sticky blood dribbling down my leg?
v/o
Yes! Moms, prepare your children for Eve's Shame with Fun Sponge, the great new
practice-tampon for kids!
Little girl
Mummy, this Applicator is really convenient for today's modern woman! Fun Sponge slides
easily into even my small immature choo-choo!
v/o
But Fun Sponge doesn't just prepare your offspring for the sinister taint of menstruation -
they're also great fun for all the family!
Little girl
I love Fun Sponge! Now I am truly ready for the viscid deluge of gore that will surely flow
from my newly-fertile uterus as I enter womanhood!
v/o
Moms! You simply must buy new Fun Sponge! It's your patriotic duty! They're
menarcheally marvellous!
Jingle singers
It's another quality product!
From Question-a-ble Mer-chan-dise Li-mited!
From Question-a-ble Mer-chan-dise Li-mited!