The Captain's fish fingers have not been stolen
Narrator
It's the Adventures of Captain Birdseye!
Captain
Ahoy there! I'm Captain Birdseye.
Kids
Yay!
Katie
[unenthusiastic] Hello Captain.
Captain
How about some of my crispy cod fish fingers? Finest sliced fillets of
[getting excited] prime north sea cod, coated in rich, [orgasmic]
bubbly batter!
Kids
...Yay!
Captain
I'll just get them from the freezer then. <hums a tune> Mmm. I do
[fx: fridge opening] like fish. [pause] <gasp> They're gone! The fish fingers have been...
All
Dah, dah, daah!
Captain
...stolen!
Kids
<gasps>
Billy
Oh no!
Captain
The secret formula for my fish fingers has been stolen! My beautiful
fish fingers! [sobbing] My poor little babies! What are we going to
do?
Katie
[hopeful] We could call the Chinese takeaway.
Captain
Oh, woe! My lovely fish-based products! Gone! [pause] Oh, it's all
right, I've found them. They were under the pork chops.
Kids
Yay!
Narrator
More exciting adventures with Captain Birdseye next time!
Captain
Hang on, pork chops?! What are pork chops doing in my fridge? I don't
like pork! I like fish!